How and why did buying a cup of coffee become so complicated?
There are times when all I want is a nice, simple cup of coffee made by someone who actually knows what coffee is. I don’t want to be offered a massive list of coffees with options of froth, chocolate sprinkles, magic fairy dust, froppa moppa flappa mappa chino, gold leaf sugar, a range of syrups or a dozen different sizes. Just a simple cup of coffee will do.
Driving back to the island last week after seeing clients on the mainland I stopped for a coffee a few times there and back and each time I found myself getting more and more annoyed whenever I tried to get a simple cup of coffee but the icing on the cake was this actual conversation I had with a young girl working at one of the places I stopped.
Me: Black coffee please.
Girl: We don’t do black coffee, we do Americano though which is like black coffee.
Me: Isn’t Americano just black coffee?
Girl: No it’s Americano, it’s different.
Me: What’s the difference?
Girl: Erm, I think Americano is like a latte without the milk.
Me: So it’s a black coffee then?
Girl: No we don’t have black coffee, sorry I am only allowed to sell what is on the coffee list.
Me: How long have you worked here?
Girl: It’s my second day.
Me: Do you do white coffee?
Girl: No but we have latte, it’s like white coffee.
Me: What’s the difference between a latte and a white coffee?
Girl: I’m not sure but a lot of people who ask for white coffee have latte.
Me: Alright, I’ll have an Americano please!
At this point I wanted to head butt the wall but resisted the temptation. I took my Americano, (which, would you believe, suspiciously looked and tasted exactly like a black coffee) back to the car and sat for a few minutes shaking my head.
Next time I am taking a thermos flask!